Scientists that study the role of play, have long found out that when playmates are absent during a critical stage of development, we end up with less tools to tolerate stress later in life. Parents and teachers are noticing similar trends post-covid, for children that missed out on socializing with peers.
Studies show that the fight or flight behaviors and emotional stimulation experienced during play, are activating the same neuropathways as stress. This is happening during play in a safe manner and helping kids exercise their stress systems, During this type of unstructured play, kids are testing their boundaries, learning how to solve problems, and bouncing back from stresses of rejection, loss, or fear.
So what happens when kids are not able to engage in this type of play? And are on video games instead?
Parents report that when children's play time is NOT balanced and there is too much time spent on electronics, their kids' brains tend to react with excessive fear, or exaggerated aggression towards minor stressors. When physical play increases, so does the ability to cope with difficult situations.
During the Resilience workshop for tweens, I noticed that as trust developed and grew, so did the desire to free-play. Break times were getting longer as the days went on. Kids were feeling good and getting comfortable with extending themselves out of their comfort zones. It was obvious that they were not just learning about resilience, but their brains were experiencing it.
In this way, when playfulness is encouraged in an environment of trust, adaptability skills grow. When kids get a chance to practice social skills in a safe way, they become more confident. When video games replace this kind of activity, we see lower tolerance for stress and higher anxiety.
What are some ways that we can connect our kids with more unstructured play? In today's digital climate where "go play outside" is less probable, what can parents do?
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